keep trying

I don't think I will ever get a job and I feel sad. When I take a step outta my own skin and look through maturer eyes, I just feel useless. I could easily conform and be grateful for whatever shit job some bastard will hire me to do. But I have decided not to compromise anymore, I will not spiral into another depression because I can't be myself. I can't keep blaming other people for my problems, I will always be the problem. I can sit inside my own four walls forever, with my books and films. And tragic singer songwriters but I long to be a real person. To have a physical presence in our world, I like all of us feel I have something unique to offer. Whether that be writing, songs or whatever. I just hope my efforts aren't in vain. I wish someone had the answers and could put their hand on my shoulder and just say, Ben all will be well soon, this pain you feel, It is going to be worth it in the long run. So keep reading, keep writing and don't stop dreaming. Because one day you'll be old. And life will be over, so keep believing.